|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
The 435th day on the H.H.The only upside to regaining your sanity is that you no longer are haunted by visions of monstrous creatures; particularly bloated, bipedal green octopi with wings that are way too small to lift even a fraction of their own weight. The downside is the realization that the stuff growing around the pipes are not doing anything to satisfy my hunger. My only way of ridding myself of the temptations of that radioactive fungus is to write constantly in my journal, even though there may be nothing of interest happing on this mausoleum of a space tugboat; save for one incident a few hours ago involving none other than Baldric's very own bootlick, or rather boot eater in this case.
We found the big bugger chewing happily on my second man's unattended right boot, along with a sock stuffed in it, in his quarters, much to my disappointment that there wasn't someone else wearing it, when suddenly the beast let out a loud groan and started a coughing frenzy.
"It must be choking on something!" Cried
The 432nd Day on the H.HThey say that starvation can lead to all sorts of problems, some of which is a loss of critical thinking or diminishing sanity, which is absurd. I just figured out an ingenious substitute for Zerg meat to use for one of my recipies that I had just conjured up in the backside of my grey cranium, which proves that my mind is still going a mile a minute. Now, all I need to do is to lure Baldric into this great big makeshift pot into the kitchen, cut up some of the fungus that's been growing on some of these pipes and I can have subordinate stew for dinner tonight! How did I do it? Well I can't live on this strange green moss all the time, especially since these past few days. But who am I kidding? What am I saying? How could I be so blind? I'll have roast Baldric for dinner and use this green moss as a garnish!
"Captain? Captain are you there?" A voice in my head echoed out, or at least I think it's in my head.
"I am here? Am I here? &
The 422nd Day on the H.H.Of all the things that I have faced in my lifetime, why was I assigned to this task? Is it a legion of flesh eating, house sized insects that's heading towards my home world? No. Is it a deadly virus released by a bioterrorist who wants to turn the entire galaxy into a catacomb? No. Is it a giant meteorite that's going to destroy all life on my planet? No. Is it a malfunction in one of the printers with which some random dip from the IT department or wherever else can easily take care of? Yes. For you see, this is the Harbinger of Haste. If the starvation doesn't get to you, the boredom will.
"Come on! I yanked out the damn sheet! There is no paper jam anymore you cheap, backwater scrap yard!" I cursed out loud while trying to find something to dry my ink soaked fingers.
"I am sorry," the printer's electronic AI replied, as if it even had one to begin with, "there appears to be a paper jam within my system. Please remove the sheet and press-"
I hit the cancel button just before the mac
My First Arrival, Chapter 5The trip to the planet after those encounters, and taking care of a few more bugs in the ship's engine -I mean that literally-, took a toll on my sleeping patterns as well as our original scheduled time of arrival. For starters, I had suddenly realized that my expedition consists of a space shuttle that's more suited for radioactive waste management, a fellow associate who's all too familiar with that related career and another who's hardly familiar with anything at all.
My superiors might as well toss me a slingshot, a small silver toothpick and an old elm branch and say, in words that a modern human might understand, "There's a werewolf and vampire out there. You a best with this toothpick and stick here so git goin' while I make me a pit right here to trap those varmints!"
Of all the frakking places my third idiot brother Troika could have landed; in a city where we could present ourselves so that the locals would revere us as gods and provide us with all kinds of drink an
My First Arrival, Chapter 4There's only one advantage in sleeping in a padded pod that is only slightly bigger than a coffin, but with the same atmosphere as one with a going-out-of-business-sale price.
Whenever your ship enters an asteroid field, your body only flies several inches up and down. The downside is that the pod quickly becomes its grim relative if you don't react quickly enough. In my sheer panic, I frantically pounded on the canopy of the dome until it gave way and popped off of its hinges. Undaunted by the cheapness and so-called "reliability" of the pod, I dashed for the control bridge and plopped myself in the unpadded plastic seat.
Note; plastic, unpadded seat. You get the idea.
I then strapped myself with a flimsy seat belt and quickly stretched the fingers on my hands, hearing a few pops and cracks from my appendages. The shaking continued, both from the ship and my hands; the latter of which would soon set a nine on the Richter Scale.
"Okay, where are the contr
My First Arrival, Chapter 3"When you find yourself absolutely bored with absolutely nothing to do at all, pass the time by extending your lips and drum your finger up and down against them. Do this indefinitely." From an old pamphlet I found in one of the glove compartments in my ship.
On the day when Baldric and I took off, no one woke me up from my slumber. I suppose that there were no final words or champagne bottles being broken on our ship's hull, but at least I caught up with my sleep even though I woke up with a splitting headache and a bump on my forehead larger than my aunt's boil on her chin.
Needless to say, there was nothing to look forward to while you're on a ship such as mine and when the days have passed, at least according to the number of hours on our digital clocks, you come up with all sorts of things to keep yourself occupied. One of the most tiresome things about our space travel is the sheer lack of entertainment avenues and the absence of any decent decor on board, though what I con
Keep in Touch!
Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More